Emotions

Lately people have been asking how the adoption is going... and I have been waiting since Sept. 7 for the Police to mail me my clearance... I've been getting down because it was taking so long. And yet, I just got home and walked in and searched my mail frantically and IT'S HERE! So now I can take my dossier to the Sec. of State and get it DONE. I am so excited. At the same time I am emotional. Starting to doubt if this really will ever happen and how long I'll have to wait. The unsureness. This morning I was singing in the shower. I started to sing "Baby Mine" and started to cry. Ugh. What is up with that? I want so badly to have it finished and get a referral...

Baby Mama

I watched "Baby Mama" today--the film with Tina Fey as a 37 yr old trying to get pregnant and then getting a surrogate to carry her child. And while a comedy, the first 7 minutes of the film were too real. This woman who has dedicated herself to her career for the past 15 years while others were having babies and then waking up at 37 and realizing she WANTS a child and since she's single to do it alone. She goes through infertility treatments with her doctor telling her, "I just don't like your uterus." When questioned about adoption she answers it will take 3 years and her family asks her to please not bring home a "black baby like Angelina." And her mother saying that not everyone will be as supportive of her alternative life style-- in which Tina responds, being single isn't an alternative life style. Funny, huh? Not to me... too real. Of course the film ends with her falling in love with a hot man and ending up pregnant... Not following through with the adoption. There is one moment when the baby she has been planning on welcoming into her life doesn't happen and I cried-- she didn't, but I did. Investing in adoption is tough. Tougher than many think before going through it. Yesterday I started to investigate Kazakhstan adoptions because of the scare of shutting down single women adoptions in Ethiopia. You have to stay in country for up to 60 days to adopt from there. There are many more hoops to jump through. I'm waiting to hear from my agency to see how real the threat of shutting down will be and if I should start investigating new countries... we will see...

Ethiopian news

I got an email from my agency today. It is scary. The Ethiopian courts will be closed until the end of this month. Because of that the adoption traffic has slowed down. Also my agency is no longer accepting NEW single women applicants because they are unsure how long Ethiopia will continue to allow single women to adopt. Also more families are interesting in adopting from Ethiopia which will mean longer wait times on getting a referral. This worries me-- maybe I should start investigating other countries? Hmmm... why is it so hard to become a mom? After thinking about having a child since I was 22 and trying for 2 full years on my own, it has felt so good to have a final decision made and being so close to completing my dossier. And now that dream is becoming fuzzy. Scary.

I found this interesting

I was looking at the CIA World Factbook today. Here are some numbers:

• Population US- 303,824,640; Ethiopia - 82,544,840
• Median age US-36.7 years; Ethiopia - 16.9 years
• Birth rate US- 14.18 births/1,000 population; Ethiopia - 43.97 births/1,000 population
• Death rate US- 8.27 deaths/1,000 population; Ethiopia - 11.83 deaths/1,000 population
• Infant mortality rate US-total: 6.3 deaths/1,000 live births; Ethiopia - 82.64 deaths/1,000 live births
• Life expectancy at birth US- total population: 78.14 years; Ethiopia - 54.99 years
• Total fertility rate US- 2.1 children born/woman; Ethiopia - 6.17 children born/woman
• HIV/AIDS - people living with HIV/AIDS US- 950,000; Ethiopia - 1.5 million
• HIV/AIDS - deaths US- 17,011 (2005 est.); Ethiopia - 120,000 (2003 est.)
• Literacy US - 99%; Ethiopia - defined as age 15 and over can read and write total population: 42.7% ; male: 50.3% , female: 35.1% (2003 est.)

so close

I did it. I took today off school to complete the Dossier! :) I now have to wait a couple of days for the Denver Police to mail me the report. And then I can take the whole thing to the Sec. of the state as soon as I get that document. I think I can have this whole thing done and to IAN by the end of this week or early next week depending on how long the mail takes and how long the sec. of state takes. And that is just exciting! :)

It feels good to have everything in place. I took my 8 passport photos today. I didn't like the picture, but they are there ready for whatever they need them for! Ahhhh...

Dance-a-thon

Last night we had our big back to school meeting/potluck/fund-raiser. It was so nice seeing all of the families and which parents belong to which child and meeting the new families. Our theatre department is a community, a family. We are together sometimes for 7 years. So events like last night are fun to sit and talk to people and get to know each other a little better. I told the entire group about the adoption plans last night and many sought me out to talk a bit about it. I just got in the mail a request for another set of fingerprints for the USCIS (immigration) and remembered I still need to get passport photos to finish the dossier. Several parents told me to take a day off and FINISH that thing. There are recent reports that adoptions in Ethiopia are slowing which is scary. So I am taking their advice and taking Monday off to go get those last items done. Hopefully I can also get everything certified by the state too tomorrow. That would be the best possible scenario. Plus I danced the last full hour of the dance-a-thon fund-raiser with my students. This AM I am feeling my age...ugh... ;)

The kitchen is coming, the kitchen is coming!

Here's the beginning of my kitchen renovation. They had already begun the tearing down the wall. I'm standing in my living room which is where you enter my house. Then... the wall came down! :) It feels SO good even though there are wires hanging everywhere and dust all over my house. And Jake (cat) thinks he needs to roll in all the piles of dust every night and then track it all over my bed. I KNOW it is all worth it. Just seeing it in this condition makes me happy-- I feel so much more open and at home here now.

One last one...